“So, What IS Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse?”
“My mother, when I was weeping,
gave me colors I’ve described
She said, “You are mine,” many times.
In these bruised moments I’ve tears, born in fear
returned to your hands
by disbelief in what they cannot see.”
© Butterfly Closures, 2011
The incidence of mother-daughter sexual abuse is unknown. Sadly, the crime of MDSA is largely unreported and intervention for the child is often low to null. This is due to lack of awareness, even a lack of comprehension. Awareness must be raised. In determination to protect our daughters, nieces, and grandchildren to name a few, we must understand that female perpetrators do exist.
A mother is typically nurturing, with motherly instincts and a confident demeanor in raising her child. But as you read this, many daughters are being abused by nature’s primary caregiver: their mother. That mother may feel untouchable, considering the lack of society’s awareness. As with a male perpetrator, mothers also abuse for control or out of perversion.
What exactly is mother-daughter sexual abuse?
MDSA can include the following:
- Verbal harassment, concerning the daughter’s sexual development or sexuality
- Covert incest (emotional incest): a relationship with the child that is sexualized, the child expect to fulfill an adult emotional role. This is similar to a relationship between adult sexual partners, but without physical contact.
- Being watched while bathing or dressing, or being forced to watch her mother bathe, dress, and/or masturbate
- Being forced to watch and/or engage in sexual acts between the mother and her partner or spouse
- Being touched or fondled, or being forced to touch or fondle her mother
- Giving or receiving oral sex
- Digital penetration or insertion of objects into the vagina or anus, to include unnecessary hygiene items under the guise of “medical care”
These forms of abuse are perpetrated by mothers. They are all damaging; the impact on her daughter no lesser than the impact of abuse by a male.
Your invalidated feelings, your confusion at femininity, your difficulty in feeling whole and independent without a mother- you are a survivor, with a home amongst us. I am so sorry for your pain. If you, too, have been abused by your mother, you are not alone and there are resources.
Kate1975’s Blog (Thorough MDSA links)
Making Daughters Safe Again
Pandora’s Aquarium (forum with support sub-threads)
“Who Will Love Me?” Four Stories of Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse (video)
In addition to those resources, I will be throughly covering the abuse, the emotions, and the aftermath of MDSA here at Butterfly Closures.